a pondering pootle

I’ve been reflecting a lot recently on what it means to ‘be brave’. I think this current season has challenged me to see bravery in a new way. I’ve always thought of myself as quite a brave person but I’ve come to realise that my understanding of ‘brave’ has often been limited to just one context.

Life has thrown a fair few challenges my way and I’ve had to be brave & carry on and find a way through – but it’s dawned on me that this understanding of bravery is very reactionary. Something bad or difficult happens and I react to it and usually, on the most part, I respond with bravery & face it. It’s a bit like a child who falls over and as parents we are sometimes quick to say “come on, get up, you’re ok, be brave” – it’s a response to falling over or being hurt. In this sense of the term bravery, I feel I am quite brave indeed.

But what if bravery is also about being pro-active, about deliberately choosing to put ourself into situations that require us to be brave. This is the season I find myself in more and more. I recently did an abseil off an 80ft viaduct and I felt I came alive in a way I hadn’t felt for some time. Was this due to the huge adrenaline rush – I’m sure partly it was – but actually I feel it was more reflective of where I am at in my heart right now. A season of being brave; of stepping out, being brave enough to be myself. Being true to who I really am and my hopes, dreams and passions.

I’ve come to realise that actually at times in my life I haven’t been very brave at all – at times I’ve hidden who I really am, what I really feel. I’ve also had hopes, dreams, passions inside that have all required risk and instead of stepping out I’ve been quick to find an excuse: I’m too busy, I’m too skint, what if I fail, I’ve got too many kids 🙂 Truth be told, whilst some of these reasons may at times be valid – I think we often are less creative with what we’ve got because deep down we want an excuse not to be brave!

If someone asked you today, as someone did to me today, ‘what are you passionate about?’ What would you say? I think many of us may say we don’t actually know – but actually I’m not sure this would be the truth. I think it’s possible we all know what makes us come alive, but for one reason or another so many of us keep it suppressed or buried, for some it’s buried deeper than in others, but it’s there – in our deepest core we all have passions that make us excited, that make us feel alive. I think the reason that we keep these things buried at times is because in acknowledgment therein lies the risk & the need for a response of bravery! To admit they’re there opens up the possibility that we may not be able to fulfil them – the risk of disappointment. To voice them will also pose a challenge to act upon them – we will have to be brave to change some things in our lives in order to fulfil them. So we go back to our everyday lives, with the occasional ‘what if?’ fleeting through our thoughts but never giving much time to properly think about whether there’s more to life & if it could be more exciting!

I think this quote says much of what I’m trying to express…“Look around you and look inside you. How many people do you think are settling? I will tell you: a hell of a lot of people. People are settling every day into okay relationships and okay jobs and an okay life. And do you know why? Because okay is comfortable. Okay pays the bills and gives a warm bed at night and allows one to go out with co-workers on a Friday evening to enjoy happy hour. But do you know what okay is not? Okay isn’t thrilling, it isn’t passion, it isn’t the reason you get up every day; it isn’t life-changing or unforgettable. Okay is not the reason you go to bed late and wake up early. Okay is not the reason you risk absolutely everything you’ve got just for the smallest chance that something absolutely amazing could happen.” http://thoughtcatalog.com/kovie-biakolo/2013/06/your-dreams-have-expiration-dates/

What if the gateway to being fully alive is a decision to ‘be brave’? I heard it said once that “you can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.”

It’s worth noting that bravery should not be equated with recklessness – responsibility is important & all our actions not only effect ourselves but also those around us; we need to be true to ourselves but not at the expense of others, it isn’t the persuit of selfish ambition. The beauty of bravery is that it doesn’t stop with us as individuals and this is another exciting thing about being brave. What I’ve also come to realise through my observations is that as one person comes alive it’s catching – others start to come alive too. It’s like sparks from a fire spreading. Bravery is contagious! Katherine Center puts it like this “you have to be brave with your life, so that others can be brave with theirs.” 

As I draw to a close, I’m left asking myself the question ‘what would I do if I wasn’t afraid?’ In the words of that well used quote “feel the fear and do it anyway” what would the ‘it’ be for me right now? It also leaves me thinking what if we actually don’t need to feel the fear at all? What if we could truly be fearless. But that’s a thought for another day…